“Speaking your child’s primary love language does not mean he or she will not rebel later. It does mean your child will know you love him, and that can bring him security and hope; it can help you to rear your child to responsible adulthood. Love is the foundation.”
Saying “I love you” should be all my kids need…right? A pat on the back, a hug and kiss goodnight? A toy when I return from a trip? It all depends because each child is different. And each child understands that they are loved in different ways.
This may be a new concept to many, but one that holds immense power and potential to those that are willing to learn; there is more than one way to show your love for your son or daughter. In fact, there are 5.
Speaking out of his great wealth of knowledge, bestselling author Gary Chapman takes his thesis of 5 Love Languages and applies them to the children in our lives. With the help of Dr. Ross Campbell, who had over 30 years experience as a clinical psychiatrist focused on parent-child relationships, The 5 Love Languages of Children is a well thought out, researched, and articulate book.
Discussing each of the 5 love languages, how they look, how to show them to your child, and the possible downsides to showing it too much, Chapman and Campbell help to illustrate how to love your child, as unique as they are, in the most effective way possible. And by doing that, they are helping you to help raise your son and daughter to be the best them that they can be.
And isn’t’ that what every parent wants?
“Whatever love language your child understands best, he needs it expressed in one way – unconditionally.”
My two-year-old son was having tantrums like crazy. All day sometimes, and my poor wife had to deal with them while I was away. Then he would pounce on me when I got home, never letting go, regardless of what I needed to be doing. I thought he was just being a two year old.
My four-year-old daughter kept demanding our attention after we praise our son or newborn for learning something new. It was always “what about me?” over everything. We thought that she was just feeling neglected because she had already learned or mastered the things for which the other two kids received praise.
We were wrong on both counts.
This book helped open up our eyes to who our kids are, and why they were acting the way they were. A boy that needed physical touch to know that he was loved and a girl that needed words of affirmation hadn’t been getting their fill from mom and dad. I’m just glad I read this book while they are still so young.
Chapman and Campbell helped to show how important love languages are, especially in children. With their only understanding of love being selfish (about them), it’s important to know how to show them love in the most effective way possible. That would be through their own love language. Though the love languages are not isolated to children, Chapman and Campbell talk about things like discipline and anger; issues that any parent will have to deal with and how it changes when we think about loving our kids through their love language. This is hugely helpful for parents with kids that are starting to get older.
While there are occasions when Chapman and Campbell will talk about children that are older or younger than your own, the truth and advise they give is not without value. Love languages are present in grandkids too.
Another point, just because you think you know your child’s primary love language, there is no reason to skip the other ones. It’s mentioned throughout the book numerous times. Speak all five love languages, because all five are needed to grow. So while my son and daughter may be displaying clearly what their primary love language is, there is no reason for me to not show love in those other ways.
It doesn’t matter how old your kids are. It doesn’t matter how much or little childhood is left. Reading The 5 Love Languages of Children will help you as a parent show them how much you care, or give you the ways to show it when you didn’t know how before. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell have given generations of parents the tools to love their kids well, from diapers to adulthood, from immaturity to healthy maturity.
Don’t let your kids miss out on such fulfilling love as that spoken through their love language.
”Unconditional love shows love to a child no matter what. We love regardless of what the child looks like; regardless of her assets, liabilities, or handicaps; regardless of what we expect her to be; and, most difficult of all, regardless of how she acts.”
I loved reading The 5 Love Languages (the original) and loved this one just as much. The information, the insight that Chapman and Campbell bring to children and their love languages is superb. Not just explaining how these love languages look in our kids, but also what actions and attitudes are the result of love lacking.
As I did with the original, I give The 5 Love Languages of Children a 5 out of 5-star rating. A must read for all parents.
I received a free copy of this book for an honest review.
This book review first appeared on Christian Thought Sandbox.