The Husband-Wife Dynamic (B.A.M. Part 9)

This article is part of a limited series called Be A Man. These articles are taken from a Bible study I conducted for several months. The purpose of these blogs is to examine and discuss what it means to be a man, a husband and a father according to the Bible, and how we are to live that out in our modern world. While the Bible study was originally for men, not all topics are gender specific, meaning that women, wives, and mothers can still learn and be encouraged from these articles.

How does it work?

How are husbands supposed to work with their wives?

What kind of balance needs to be struck so that a marriage can thrive, or just survive?

These and many other questions have been asked for ages. Husbands want to know. Wives want to know. Engaged couples want to know. How do we make this thing work?
There is no easy answer. The answer may be simple to explain, but nothing about it is easy as far as the application and living out of this Biblical truth.

First, I’ll talk about a traditional way husband-wife dynamic, one that most are familiar with. This may be the way your family works, the family you grew up in functioned, or what you have seen in different families. After I go through this traditional dynamic, I’ll talk about what I believe to be a more Biblical founded dynamic between husbands and wives.

Continue reading “The Husband-Wife Dynamic (B.A.M. Part 9)”

We Are The First Teachers (B.A.M. Part 8)

This article is part of a limited series called Be A Man. These articles are taken from a Bible study I conducted for several months. The purpose of these blogs is to examine and discuss what it means to be a man, a husband and a father according to the Bible, and how we are to live that out in our modern world. While the Bible study was originally for men, not all topics are gender specific, meaning that women, wives, and mothers can still learn and be encouraged from these articles.

“Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.
“Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
“Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” – Genesis 4.1-7

It might strike you as odd that I would only read the beginning of this story. For those of you that are familiar with the Bible, these few verse start the story of the murder of Abel at the hands of his brother, Cain. While that whole account is worth its own, there is something specific that I want to focus on. While it may not be obvious to you right now, this portion of Scripture holds some powerful truths about our role as parents, particularly in the areas of worship and raising our children.

Continue reading “We Are The First Teachers (B.A.M. Part 8)”

Who Is This God? (B.A.M. Part 7)

This article is part of a limited series called Be A Man. These articles are taken from a Bible study I conducted for several months. The purpose of these blogs is to examine and discuss what it means to be a man, a husband and a father according to the Bible, and how we are to live that out in our modern world. While the Bible study was originally for men, not all topics are gender specific, meaning that women, wives, and mothers can still learn and be encouraged from these articles.

The story of Noah is one that is familiar to all. Whether you grew up in Sunday School or you are a fan of the Steve Carrel film Evan Almighty, the account of a man building an enormous boat is one that we all know. But unlike Noah, most of us will never to build an ark to survive a massive flood. We face different challenges than he did.

That doesn’t mean that we cannot learn something from his story. In fact, there is much to learn from this ancient man. For he was just a man like the rest of us are. He woke up on the right and wrong side of the bed at times. He had days where he wanted to call it quits. He had moments where his children or wife seemed too much to deal with. And like us, Noah was called upon by God to participate in God’s divine purposes.While we have talked about what God has called all men to do, these verses struck me as more a revelation about who this God is rather than being about Noah.

Who is this God? What is He like? How does He work? Continue reading “Who Is This God? (B.A.M. Part 7)”

A Life Seasoned With Two Ingredients (B.A.M. Part 6)

This article is part of a limited series called Be A Man. These articles are taken from a Bible study I conducted for several months. The purpose of these blogs is to examine and discuss what it means to be a man, a husband and a father according to the Bible, and how we are to live that out in our modern world. While the Bible study was originally for men, not all topics are gender specific, meaning that women, wives, and mothers can still learn and be encouraged from these articles.

The story of Noah and the ark is a famous one. Church going children and kids that haven’t been raised in a Christian community know it the same. They may disagree about some facts, such as the number of animals that were on the ark, or the shape, or whether the story is factual or a cultural myth, but there is no disputing the popularity of this children’s story.

Sadly, this has become a children’s story. I don’t know why or at what point this tale of the Great Flood became solely one for the kids. There is so much truth woven into the account that adults would be foolish not to dive into it.

Because even in such a story there are wonderful and instructive things for us to learn. And in this case, there are two ingredients that we are to have as Christian men that will season our lives for the better. Just as you season meat to give it flavour and to keep it fresh for long periods of time, so the Noah account has ingredients for us to use to season our lives to sustain us and give our lives spiritual flavour. Continue reading “A Life Seasoned With Two Ingredients (B.A.M. Part 6)”

My Wife Is…(B.A.M. Part 5)

This article is part of a limited series called Be A Man. These articles are taken from a Bible study I conducted for several months. The purpose of these blogs is to examine and discuss what it means to be a man, a husband and a father according to the Bible, and how we are to live that out in our modern world. While the Bible study was originally for men, not all topics are gender specific, meaning that women, wives, and mothers can still learn and be encouraged from these articles.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 18.22 NKJV

Have you ever made a list of what you are looking for in a spouse? Maybe you feel that you want a guy that drives a pick-up truck, or you want a girl that can play the piano – or vice-versa. Maybe having a spouse that is taller than you is something you feel is important. Or perhaps you want to be the tall one. The list of things that you could possibly desire in a significant other is endless. But have you ever actually written that list down? I have, obviously not recently, but I did when I was a teenager.

I was a part of an in-school bible study, and we were talking about dating and courting, and what a healthy relationship looks like. There was a discussion about being responsible and setting physical boundaries. Then we were asked to write down what we were looking for in a boyfriend or girlfriend. Later we started praying for our “ideal” spouse, but what I put on the list still sticks with me. Because what I wrote down in school is nothing like my wife. I recall wanting a girlfriend or wife that was shorter than me. She needed to be blonde with blue eyes. It would be great if she played piano and she could cook. Beyond that, I don’t remember much else I wrote down. Continue reading “My Wife Is…(B.A.M. Part 5)”

But Why Mommy? (B.A.M. Part 4)

This article is part of a limited series called Be A Man. These articles are taken from a Bible study I conducted for several months. The purpose of these blogs is to examine and discuss what it means to be a man, a husband and a father according to the Bible, and how we are to live that out in our modern world. While the Bible study was originally for men, not all topics are gender specific, meaning that women, wives, and mothers can still learn and be encouraged from these articles.

 

I’m sure if we asked parents of young children they would say, unanimously, that there is one response to your answers that is the most annoying thing a child can say. It is the most annoying question that they can ask, and to make it worse, children tend to ask it more than once, and that is, “But why?” And it is the response that is just the beginning of an endless cycle of whys that is the root cause of many parents’ sanity leaving and hair being pulled out.

But why? As we grow older, we still ask why.  Why are things this way? Why can’t they be that way? Why can’t I do this my way? Why is your way the only right way? Why? Why? Why?

The whys we as adults ask may not be as random as a child’s, but ours seem to probe the deeper things. Like why should we obey God? Why should we do what He tells us? After Part 2 and 3, it occurred to me that I didn’t answer the why. Why should men do these things? Why should men obey God when He says to be a selfless king and serve those under our authority? Why should men be worried or concerned about the earth and the animals and plants on it? Why? Continue reading “But Why Mommy? (B.A.M. Part 4)”

It’s Time to Take The Garbage Out (B.A.M. Part 3)

This article is part of a limited series called Be A Man. These articles are taken from a Bible study I conducted for several months. The purpose of these blogs is to examine and discuss what it means to be a man, a husband and a father according to the Bible, and how we are to live that out in our modern world. While the Bible study was originally for men, not all topics are gender specific, meaning that women, wives, and mothers can still learn and be encouraged from these articles.

Back in 2005, I joined a missions team to head over to India and minister to an orphanage. To say I was unprepared for the 500 orphaned boys and their energy would be an understatement. They were always running and screaming, dragging us along to play football (soccer for us North Americans) and dance. Every night, the whole team was exhausted from all the running around.

On top of hanging out with these 500 boys, we were also going out to neighbouring communities and sharing Jesus Christ with people that had never heard His name before. That by itself was an experience. Growing up in Canada, where just about everyone went to church or had heard a sermon at Easter or Christmas, left me totally unprepared for this reality.

But that wasn’t the only striking experience I had. While the adventures I had in India on this missions trip could be their own articles, it was something that happened on a trip to a neighbouring village that struck me as wrong. There was something biblically wrong about what was being practiced by the Christians in India. And it wasn’t until I got back to Canada, that I realized that we were just as guilty of this sin as anyone.

Continue reading “It’s Time to Take The Garbage Out (B.A.M. Part 3)”