For Better Or For Kids

“A vow to love your spouse with kids in the house.”

Think back to your wedding day. It may have been a number of years ago. It could have been months ago. You and your future spouse stood face to face, and proclaimed your eternal love for one another. Maybe you wrote your own vows, or you decided to repeat what the minister said. Either way, chances are that you said nothing about children. No promise about little kids sucking the energy out of you, and draining your bank account.

That may seem cold, but the reality is that we don’t think about. Our wedding vows are all about our love for our spouse, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. But we never talk about what we will do when we have kids.

Patrick and Ruth Schwenk call this the forgotten vow; to love and cherish, with children.

We may not think of it this way, but having children does put a stress on our marriage. Children are demanding. They want, and rightfully deserve, our time, energy, money, consideration, and the list goes on. But does your marriage need to crumble just because you have kids?

The Schwenks don’t think so. And they want to see you and your spouse have a godly, love filled marriage, with kids in the house. That’s why they wrote For Better Or For Kids.

Through dozens of personal stories and examples of how marriage can be full of love and life, while dealing with a kids and the trauma of miscarriages, Patrick and Ruth Schwenk both share how they discovered their marriage was being hurt by their kids, what Scripture revealed to help them, and how they moved to heal and grow as a couple. A couple that happened to have kids.

Regardless of the years you have been married, number or age of your kids, For Better Or For Kids is a book that you need to read. It will help you and your spouse fall more in love, give health and strength to your marriage, and raise your kids together into godly men and women.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. – Zig Ziglar

In my experience, marriage counselling or relationship help books tend to be quite flat. They offer something wonderful, but they fail to deliver anything new, anything unique. What I have found is simply a rehashing of old material wrapped in new personality and jokes.

That all being said, For Better Or For Kids is amazing. This is unique. This is different. This is a book that tells you what it is, and then delivers. There is no rehashing of old material. To write a book about marriage and the difficulty that having children can bring is unique, and a breath of fresh air for a young married guy like me.

Addressing issues that all young parents will identify with, finances, stress levels, intimacy issues, and giving readers ways of working through their problems. Even while I was reading this book, I found myself having conversations with my wife about the things that the Schwenk’s talked about. Sadly, I didn’t realize that these were conversations that we needed to have, but I am so grateful that my wife and I have started to have them.

This book is filled with those great conversation starters, but also a surprising amount of Scripture. One would hope that you find lots of the Bible in a book about Christian marriage, but that isn’t always the case. For Better Of For Kids delivers, with excellent understanding and application of ancient ideas and ways of thinking. Patrick and Ruth Schwenk truly know their stuff, and will leave the reader feeling good that they are being feed strong, Bible-focused marriage advice.

My only complaint about this book would be a formatting one. Patrick and Ruth both wrote this book, and there are times when they will both share something in the same chapter. When there is a switch between the authors, you see this ” I (Patrick)” or “I (Ruth)”. I understand why they decided to do this. And I appreciate that they alert the reader to a switch in author. I only wish that there was another way to do this. I have seen some books change text fonts to indicate a switching of authors, but that can become a strain on reader’s eyes and minds, trying to keep who’s font is who’s.

For Better Or For Kids took me off guard and surprised me with its heartwarming stories, it’s strong biblical exegesis, and easily applicable principles. If you are spouse of a young married couple with kids, I highly recommend this book to help strengthen you as you work towards keeping your wedding vows and raising your children.

I give For Better Or For Kids a 5 out of 5 star-rating.


Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.