The way that you are measuring you manliness does not reflect the character of Christ in you.
So stop it.


I’ve tried to write this blog about manliness about three times. And each time I’ve tried a different approach.

My first attempt at this blog was by addressing how foolish the idea of asserting one’s manliness or masculinity through things and objects and body parts was. I thought it was a fool proof plan. But it didn’t occur to me until later that this approach seemed to come off as pompous and arrogant, and probably would be flagged as explicit for naming body parts.My second attempt was to tell the back story to this blog, what gave me the idea to write this. I started with how some guys at my wife’s birthday were harassing me, all in the name of good natured fun, because I was doing anything that I could to make her birthday a special day. But, again, I felt like I was harshly judging guys that I know love their spouses and girlfriends, and painting them in a light that they do not stand in. So I moved on.

My third attempt at this topic is what you are now reading, some raw honesty and brutal truth. Here goes nothing.

I think that asserting one’s masculinity is dumb. I think that it is a frivolous activity that dominates the modern man’s time, energy and brain space. To be so consumed by our “identity” or “identifying markers” makes me feel sad in my spirit. But this is what most men do, both the saint and the sinner.

They do crazy things, stupid things to say to the world, “Hey, look at how much of a man I am.” Although in reality it isn’t manly, but foolish. Leaping from the top of three story buildings into a pool to show us how awesome you are doesn’t make you a man. Or drag racing off the lights in the middle of the night. It’s moronic and potentially dangerous.

Men have been known to pump iron for hours and hours. To the point where some could be a body double for a young Arnold Schwarzenegger. This isn’t a symbol of your manhood. It’s an example of your ignorance to what is truly of value, in a man, to a woman and to society in general. The size of your biceps or triceps or how ripped your abs are should not be the identifying marker others recognize you by.

Having a truck that towers over the rest of societies’ vehicles for no other reason than you want to have a big truck is ridiculous. Everyone makes the joke that people that have super large trucks are compensating for something.Owning a car that can only been seen in a blur is a safety hazard, for yourself and those driving around you. Puffs of diesel exhaust and speeding tickets should not be the measure of who you are.

To amass a driveway of toys, a house filled with the latest gadgets, or to go around flashing your fist fulls of cash for everyone to see isn’t an example of how much bigger and better of a man you are than the rest. It tells us that you don’t understand what is truly valuable. And you are completely fool hearty to say the least.

I don’t know how to say it any plainer.

Manliness is not measured in feats of strength or courage.
Manliness is not measured in pounds of muscle or pounds of iron bench pressed.
Manliness is not measured in the horsepower of your vehicle’s engine.
Manliness is not measured in the things you collect or the cash you have.

When I look into the Scriptures this is what I see.

Proverbs 31:30 says that “beauty is fleeting”, true of a man or a woman. So what will become of your manliness when your muscles begin to sag and the iron is too much to bench? It will be nothing. You will no longer be a man, according to that measure.

1 John 2:17 says that “The world and its desires pass away…” They do not last, they will not last. So what will become of your manliness when your truck breaks down and your toys rust away? They will be worth nothing. And you will no longer be seen as a masculine figure, but rather an impotent excuse of existence.

Matthew 26:16 says, “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” None, gaining everything, having everything is worthless in the end. It does not last. It is all a vapor. And what will your manhood be if you put all that stock into something that will not last? Nothing but a vapor as well.

While deconstructing the way that people measure themselves is all well and good, that leaves us with  questions.

How then do we measure a man?

What things must a person be or do before he is a man?
There are plenty, but I will only state one.The wisest man that ever lived concluded his deep journey through riches and poverty, wisdom and madness, and concluded this,“Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man’s all.” Ecclesiastes 12:13

A man is one who is obedient to the Word of God.
Our all, our job, our identity, our manhood, all of that lies in this call to be a man that will listen and obey the commands of God.
Not stuff, not muscles, not money, not cars or trucks, not gadgets or toys or anything else that society has fooled us into believing is our identity and manhood.

The measure of a man is in his obedience to the Word of God.

Question time.

How do you measure a man?

What things do you think a person must be or do, before he is a man?

Let me know it the comments below.



One thought on “The Best Way to Measure Your Manhood

  1. HI there :)
    Good topic, and I definitely understand what you are saying and getting at here.

    In the past, I did, at one time or another, measure my manliness by my truck….I’ve measured it by the power of my tech gadgets before…I’ve measured it in many, many different ways that I just do not wish to list, for they are, in retrospect, a bit embarrassing to downright shameful.

    I’ve been around the world. I’ve done many, many different things, different jobs, etc. But, at the end of the day, many of those days, I felt near empty. I say “near” because I definitely was not totally empty. I had my wife, and then one child, then two children, and they made me feel “of worth” in this world.
    But oh how many times I just totally disregarded my own Creator…my God…

    I am proud to say that now, I measure my manhood first by an increasing, day-to-day ability to follow the teachings of Jesus better, day-by-day.
    I also measure it by the amount of love I feel from my wife and my children. I live to please God first, then my wife, then to help my kids grow further into productive American citiziens who have solid values.

    Sure, we need money to live. We need vehicles to get from point A to point B. We utilize technology to accomplish different things, and I use it to organize my life better SO THAT I am better able to spend the time I desire to spend on helping build up other disciples of Jesus. Example, yes, I just purchased a very nice, all-in-one, ink jet, duplex printer (prints on both sides to save paper)….but I didn’t buy it for “me.” I bought it so that I could better arrange materials in an upcoming 34 week study that I am facilitating at church… that I can provide as much additional information as possible about the Bible and Jesus’ teachings to the people in the study. So no, it is not to “show off” or to “show what a man I am because I put down the cash for it.” Those things mean nothing at all in the perspective of eternity.

    Our lives on this earth are less than a wisp in the scheme of eternity. BUT, through serving God, we ARE able to give those little wisps some permanent value….a legacy to our children, their children, so on and so forth. And THAT is what is important to me — that my descendants will be able to one day look back at MY life as a Christian MAN, and be able to LEARN something! Anything! So that my life is an example for generations to follow.

    The biggest desire of my heart and soul at this point in my life is simply to walk with God, wherever and however He may lead. Wouldn’t it be cool to be like Enoch? To walk with God, and “then he was not!” That’s a man for ya right there!

    Jesus s the strongest “man” to ever walk this earth. His life sets every example that a man should measure his own masculinity by. Stand up for what is right. Be kind. Go to those who are in need, and take them the Good News of Jesus our Christ. Have integrity – and this I define as “doing the right thing whether anyone is watching or not.” Have honor.

    Simply put, in all things, live to please God. That is the measuring stick I use. No, I do not measure up, nor do I ever expect to — but that is the beauty of this journey: It is eternal!!

    kk, that’s all I have to say on the matter at present.

    Thanks for the great post :)!!


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