I’m having a bad day and it is only going to get worse.
I have somehow lost all the patience that I started with today. Dealing with customers is the last thing that I want to be doing right now. Everything that they say or do is infuriating me. My thoughts consist of this:
Why are they asking this question? Why don’t they know that? Please, would you stop doing that, Customer!?
I’m not prone to violence, but today may be the start. I just cannot handle being around people, listening to people, anything involving people today.
You might chalk this all up to not getting enough sleep, not having a strong enough coffee this morning, or maybe I’m just a whinny baby that needs to grow up. And in some instances, you would be right. I can be a whinny baby. Some nights I toss and turn, resulting in my blank and tired facial expression. On occasion, my wife may make a weaker cup of coffee. But today its different.
Today is Thursday.
Every Thursday night is our church leadership prayer meeting.
Being involved in a church plant, helping shape the leadership of a church is really a new experience for me. I’ve never done this before and it is exciting. Watching God move and shape our collective and individual lives, seeing people changed as God’s plan is being unveiled, it is an opportunity I wish that every Christian could have.
However, on the flip side of that coin, besides God moving and shaking, there is the enemy. I have never seen or felt such attacks from the enemy as I have now that I am working in this church leadership. Nightmares, evil thoughts, ungodly attitudes, bad habits are just a few things that the enemy has been using to tear me, and in turn the leadership down.
So every Thursday, even some Sundays too, I’m attack by the enemy in some way. It could be a bad attitude, it might be that I’m super tired for no reason. It could be that I just don’t want to be around people because “I’m an introvert.” It would ruin the whole prayer night for me. I wouldn’t want to pray. I couldn’t think of anything to pray for. I might doze off for a second or two. And after the final amen, I would go home and feel like complete garbage.
Before all this started, I never gave the enemy a lot of credit for anything. I wasn’t aware that he was being so active in my heart and mind. That is changing. My wife made me very aware, and this quote from C.S. Lewis helped as well.
One of the things that surprised me when I first read the New Testament seriously was that it talked so much about a Dark Power in the universe – a mighty evil spirit who was held to be the Power behind death, disease and sin…Christianity thinks this Dark Power was created by God, and was good when he was created, and went wrong. Christianity agrees…this is a universe at war.” (Mere Christianity)
In war, not every attack is a nuclear missile that everyone can see coming miles away. Sometimes the best way to attack an enemy is by using something small, something that would slip past an unaware mind, like an envelope. And just because that envelope is small and seems to be harmless, it does not mean that its contents are not sinister or destructive in nature.
Sometimes our enemy attacks in big ways, with obvious temptation and traps. Other times, he attacks us with little things that could may seem innocent on the surface, but are filled with the potential to ruin everything. If may be a small though or a poor attitude that gets agitated, like the enemy is trying to do to me.
Heed this warning. Christians beware! Check your hearts, check your minds. Our enemy is no fool. He attacks with purpose, “to steal, kill and destroy” us (John 10:10).
Be ware of what is going on around you and inside of you.
Shalom.
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