I’m sure at some point in your life someone has offered you a piece of advice. And chances are you have offered some yourself. Whether you were making a life altering decision like choosing a career or buying a house, or something small like picking an ice cream flavor or a movie on Netflix to watch, you or someone you know has offered advice.
It seems that nowadays everyone is speaking up. Everyone is trying to let their voice be heard in the ocean of opinions. It isn’t a bad thing. Having someone else’s opinion, hearing something from a different point of view can be a great thing. While we may be hesitant to admit it, the truth is we don’t know everything. We can’t see everything from every conceivable angle. We need to hear people’s advice. Having a different or unique voice sounding in our ears can be a constructive thing. Being able to have a variety of insights in situations or circumstances adds to the effectiveness of our decision making. Hearing people out adds spice to our life. If anyone ever offers you some advice, don’t turn a deaf ear. Welcome it gladly; you don’t know what gems of wisdom or insight you may be turning down.
But there is a flip side to this idea of advice.
I don’t know think it is just me either. Other people have probably noticed that advice is taking on a strange face. I remember when advice was offered like this, “Can I say something?” or “Oh, can I offer you my two cents?” There was something non-threatening about advice given that way. Even if I didn’t agree with what someone had said, I heard them out as a courtesy. It was a respect thing, maybe not for the advice given, but for the person giving the advice. After that, the advice giver would go on their way and I on my way. If I decided to listen to their advice, then it was smart move on my part. And if I happen to do something else, maybe something that was contrary to the advice given, well, people would just hope that I made the best decision and was going to be happy with what was done. This isn’t the way things seem to go anymore.
Rather than people merely giving advice and being happy with that, I have seen people getting aggravated and upset. I was given a piece of advice recently. After the advice was given, I made my decision and went on my way. What I did was contrary to the advice I received. And at the time I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t think that it was a big deal. I soon found out that the advice giver was angry. They were supremely upset that I didn’t listen to them. Upset to the point of rage and anger. “Why didn’t you listen to me?” was the reaction I got. “Why didn’t you do as you were told?”
I was completely taken aback. When did advice become a commandment? When did advice go from some kind words to help guide you through life to the harsh rules and regulation handed down from on high? If it was my mother or father telling me what to do when I was a child, that kind of response would be warranted. That would make sense. Children should listen to the “advice” of their parents, because at that point it isn’t really advice but a rule or a command. But as an adult, living on my own, receiving this reaction of anger from another adult confused me. I wasn’t under any legal or ethical obligation to this person. So what was going on? What happened to advice?When I got that reaction for “disobeying” some advice, I felt belittled. Like I was less of an adult, even less of a human because I didn’t do what they wanted.
So, let me give you a piece of advice. Don’t be one of those angry people, demanding that the words they speak are obeyed. Don’t be so arrogant that you think your advice is the true word of wisdom and should be followed to the letter by others. Because sometimes you don’t see things as clearly as they are. Sometimes not everything is revealed when your opinion is asked for. And sometimes you are just plain wrong.
Understand this before you say anything else.Advice is meant to be words of encouragement and direction, to assist someone in making decisions; they are not commands or words to coerce a person into doing whatever you want.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IS THIS HOW ADVICE SHOULD WORK?
Let me know in the comments.
When you’ve done that, click that like button.
Share this blog where you hangout, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, WordPress, wherever.
Then, follow me, add me to your circles so you don’t miss any of the excellent content.